Viagra
by LemonyWickedAwesome
Summary: What happens when Sesshomaru takes Viagra?...rated M to be safe Crackfic


**Lemony:** Yes, another crackfic.

**Wicked:** Why are you continuing to make fun this…what's his name? Sesshomaru fellow?

**Awesome:** Because she has nothing better to do with her life.

**Lemony:** *rolls eyes* Any-who, this one-shot was written for a friend who helped me get through a rough patch (you know who you are) BTW three special guests are appearing in this one-shot!….so now it my pleasure to present to you…

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*Disclaimer* I own nothing.

What happens when Sesshomaru takes Viagra...a very stupid crackfic...

"Hmmm..." Sesshomaru thought looking at the bottle of pills on the grocery store shelf. He stared at it for the longest time contemplating whether or not he should buy it.

Viagra, a wonder pill that made you hard...(Lemony: thats my kinda drug!)

He thought about his pretty roommate, Lemony. Sesshomaru had been trying for a year to get her to go out with him but she would never say yes. Maybe if he took Viagra and screwed some poor defenseless woman Lemony would hear the sounds of the love-making and then consider him.

Sesshormaru smiled, he was a friggin' genius.

He snatched the bottle off the shelf and slyly placed it in the buggy.

Sesshomaru was worried that someone he knew might see him with it so he cautiously approached the checkout counter. The girl ringing him up was a rather...melancholy individual.

"Umm...Wicked?" He read on the name tag, the girl looked up at him with uncaring eyes and began to ring this up. She looked down and gave him an evil smirk. She tapped the intercom microphone and spook.

"CAN I GET A PRICE CHECK ON VIAGRA PLEASE?"

Sesshormaru turned so red he looked like he might explode. Everyone in store turned towards the check out counter with faces like this O_O

"Shut up!" He snapped at the girl who smirked evilly at him.

"You need an id to buy this." She sneered, Sesshomaru scowled so hard his face hurt as he handed her his license. Her smirk got diabolical...

"CAN I GET A PRICE ON VIAGRA FOR GUY NAMED SESSHOMARU!"

The silver-haired man snatched his groceries and preceded to run out of the store he was so into reading the pill bottle he accidently ran into someone

"Watch where you going!" The girl snapped, Sesshomaru scowled.

"You watch it!" He argued,

"Who the fuck you think you talkin' to! Do you know who I am? I'm Awesome dammit!"

"I don't give a damn who you are!"

"Well maybe if you weren't reading while walking you'd be able to see where your going! What the fuck are you reading anyways?" Awesome snatched the pill bottle and her eyes went wide...

"HAHAHAHAHAH!" She laughed in Sesshomaru's face. "YOU CAN'T GET YOUR DICK UP!" She pointed down to Sessy's crotch and proceeded to laugh drawing the attention of everyone in parking lot.

Sesshomaru high-tailed to his car and back to his apartment. He'd have to hide his face for a few days.

~Later That Night~

Sesshomaru stared down at the bottle of little blue pills contemplating whether or not he should take them. He was standing in the bathroom at the time and he opened the bottle. Sesshomaru was just about to pour some into his hand when Lemony, the girl of his dreams, walked into the bathroom.

"Hey Sessy," She chirped, Sesshomaru tried to look sexy.

"Hey Lemony..." he said letting his voice fall deep, the little woman was unimpressed. Her eyes flickered down to the pill bottle,

"What'cha got there?"

Sesshomaru reddened, "Nothing..."

"Oh well, I came to tell you I made dinner tonight."

Sesshomaru smiled at her, he began to pour some the pills into his hand. He gobbled them down and smirked at Lemony.

"I'll make desert..."

~Four Hours Later~

Lemony didn't fall for Sesshomaru charm and he was left with quite the little woody. He paced his bedroom trying to figure out to do.

"GO DOWN GODDAMN YOU!" He shouted at his little hard penis. Instead of going down it sprang up higher.

"SHIT!"

Lemony, who was in the next room sleeping, went to investigate. The poor girl almost got hit in the face with Sessy's pencil dick.

"What the hell?" She exclaimed looking at his tenting sweats. Sesshomaru had no idea to say.

"Is that your...?" Lemony asked pointing downward.

"Lemony I need your help!" Sesshomaru said approaching her, Lemony stepped back.

"Don't touch with me with that thing!"

"But..."

"OH MY GOD! RAPE! You're trying to rape me with a pencil!" Lemony ran from the bedroom crying because she was laughing so hard.

Sesshomaru face fell when he still heard her laughing.

"I thought Viagra was supposed to make you bigger!" Lemony cackled, "if that's as big as it gets then you need to see a doctor!"

She continued, "Your new nickname is Itty Bitty Sessy!"

Sesshormaru stood there, mouth agape.

Why was fate against him?

THE END!

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**Lemony&Wicked&Awesome:** *rotflmfao*…REVIEW!


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